and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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