Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize