her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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