So drunk, too bad you don't want this
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
