you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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