Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
