Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We are all done wearing pants today
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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