He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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