My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
