if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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