If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
