im having a threesome with these popsicles
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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