Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize