I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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