sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
