you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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