the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize