i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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