Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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