dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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