Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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