My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
