I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
As shirtless as possible
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
