Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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