haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
