im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
