Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There's always time for handjobs
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
