shes about as inviting as chlamydia
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize