There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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