I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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