I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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