I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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