do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
