idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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