So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
