how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
