In the future we'll all be gay
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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