I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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