need another drink. this is the easiest way
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
