I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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