he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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