If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
