i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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