We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
