Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
