Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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