I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
they're like a gay fantastic four
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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