Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
