Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
