Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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