ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
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Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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