You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
