your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
