he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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