my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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