sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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