You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
do herpes really smell.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
