i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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