Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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