we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
