I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
