trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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